Dreams and Regrets
by Errand Girl
Summary: Hawke is trapped in the fade, and Carver is about to learn that being in a shadow doesn't just hurt the person that's in it. P.S. I don't own Dragon Age or the song use in this fic.


Varric, Anders, Aveline, Isabella, Sebastian, Fenris and even Carver all stood or sat around Eira Hawke's bed. She had been in an endless sleep since the night before and everyone was at a loss of what to do. Merril had gone to the Dalish camp to get Keeper Marethari's help. Sebastian looked at the white hair that had been the cause of Hawke's name, just sticking out of the blanket. Last time they had encountered a situation like this the mage in question had almost been taken by demons, before Hawke stepped in and reminded him of the truth. Carver was tapping his foot impatiently.

"What's taking them so long?" he finally voiced.

"Easy Junior," Varric said. "When Merril and Marethari get here, and they will, we'll need you in one piece when we go in to get Hawke back."

As if on cue, Merril came running in with Marethari at her heel.

"How is she?" Merril asked when she got her breath back.

"Same as before I'm afraid, Kitten." Isabella answered.

Marethari looked and Hawke and grimaced. "This is most unusual in a mage that is not a dreamer." She turned to the companions. "Hawke is strong, she will not give into demons so easily. However, I still think she will be needing her friends. I can send in four of you. Take some time to decide who those four will be."

The group gathered. Carver was the first to speak. "I should be one of the ones to go. She's my sister."

"I agree." Aveline said.

"You... what?"

"Hawke is your sister, Carver. Even if you don't get along most of the time, I'm sure she'll be glad to see you in there. Maker knows I would, if I had a brother." Aveline clarified.

"I'm coming with you." Varric said. "If I'm going to tell the story of this adventure, I'm going to need to witness it firsthand."

"I'll... I'll stay behind. Last time I went into the fade, I almost betrayed Hawke. We can't afford a repeat of that." Merril said.

"I'm staying too." Anders said. "With Justice, we'll likely cause more harm than good."

"I'll go with you." Sebastian said. "I'm not leaving Hawke in there."

"Well that leaves you She-man." Isabella said to Aveline.

"What?"

"You, Hawke and Carver all escaped Lothering together. You are going and that is that." Isabella said like she was talking to a child.

"Have you made your decisions?" Marethari asked.

They nodded and Carver, Varric, Aveline and Sebastian stepped forward. Marethari started the spell and the four companions felt it take hold. The next thing they knew they were standing in what seemed to be a large bedroom. The walls were painted with patterns of clouds, snowflakes, stars, a sun and a moon. There were two large beds along one wall and large double glass doors on the wall opposite which led to a balcony. Just outside, sitting atop the banisters was Eira. Her short silvery white hair was flying out in the breeze, and she was wearing a long sleeveless white dress. She was looking up at the moon in the sky.

"What in the world would posses her to dress like that out there?" Aveline muttered. "She must be freezing."

Soft humming got their attention. Carver recognised in instantly, Eira would hum to him and Bethany when they was little. Suddenly Eira jumped off the balcony, the team rushed to the edge and were shocked when they saw the wind surrounding her, carrying her to the ground. When she touched down she looked up at the moon again. Then her gentle voice rose up on the wind to their ears, sadness evident in her voice.

_**Fate has been cruel and order unkind**__**  
**__**How can I have sent you away?**__**  
**__**The blame was my own; the punishment, yours**__**  
**__**The harmony's silent today**_

The three companions looked around and spotted a stair case leading from the balcony to the ground.

_**But into the stillness I'll bring you a song**__**  
**__**And I will your company keep**_

They began to descend the stairs quickly, wanting to get to Eria and out of they as fast as possible.

_**Till your tired eyes and my lullabies**__**  
**__**Have carried you softly to sleep**_

Eria looked to the right of her and a small illusion appeared. The illusion showed a young Eira dressed in a beautiful gown with a crown atop her head, beside her was a boy dressed in noble clothing, also wearing a crown. Tears glistened in Eria's eyes.

_**Once did a princess who shone like the snow**__**  
**__**Look out on her kingdom and sigh**__**  
**__**She smiled and said, "Surely, there is nobody**__**  
**__**So lovely and so well beloved as I"**_

'Okay, that's a little too far on the arrogance meter.' Carver thought.

_**So great was her reign, so brilliant her glory**__**  
**__**That long was the shadow she cast**__**  
**__**Which fell dark upon the young brother she loved**__**  
**__**And grew only darker as days and nights passed**_

That caught Carver's attention. So whatever was keeping her here had created a replacement for him. Carver wondered what kind of brother the demons had conjured up. But he and the others had to hurry, Eria was moving now, walking away from them.

_**Lullay moon prince, goodnight brother mine**__**  
**__**And rest now in moonlight's embrace**__**  
**__**Bear up my lullaby, winds of the earth**__**  
**__**Through cloud, and through sky, and through space**_

_**Carry the peace and the coolness of night**__**  
**__**And carry my sorrow in kind**__**  
**__**Carver, you're loved so much more than you know**__**  
**__**Forgive me for being so blind**_

At the last line Eria buried her face in her hands. Carver was shocked. Him? The demons had made a copy of him? A sudden pang of guilt hit him. Maybe Eria really had cared about him, and he always just went and threw it back in her face... Like with Bethany.

Another illusion appeared. This one showing the little Carver sitting on the ground with a pillow, his back to Eria.

_**Soon did that princess take notice that others**__**  
**__**Did not give her brother his due**_

The little Carver in the illusion threw the pillow at the young Eria who dodged it and then began arguing with her brother.

_**And neither had she loved him as he deserved**__**  
**__**She watched as her brother's unhappiness grew**_

Then that illusion too disappeared and Eria moved forward. Carver, Aveline, Varric and Sebastian had reached the ground and were now trying to catch up to her.

_**But such is the way of the limelight, it sweetly**__**  
**__**Takes hold of the mind of its host**__**  
**__**And that foolish princess did nothing to stop**__**  
**__**The destruction of one whom had needed her most**_

_**Lullay moon prince, goodnight brother mine**__**  
**__**And rest now in moonlight's embrace**__**  
**__**Bear up my lullaby, winds of the earth**__**  
**__**Through cloud, and through sky, and through space**_

_**Carry the peace and the coolness of night**__**  
**__**And carry my sorrow in kind**__**  
**__**Carver, you're loved so much more than you know**__**  
**__**May troubles be far from your mind**__**  
**__**And forgive me for being so blind**_

Eria came to an out crop, overlooking a town. There she stopped, looking out over the town as the sun began to rise, and with it, as did her voice.

_**The years now before us**__**  
**__**Fearful and unknown**__**  
**__**I never imagined**__**  
**__**I'd face them on my own**_

They all finally caught up to her. Carver was about to go to her, when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked to see Varric holding him back. Varric shook his head, sensing that the climax of the song was coming.

_**May these thousand winters**__**  
**__**Swiftly pass, I pray**_

Eira turned away from the town and to a few steps forward before looking up at the moon again, which was still only just visible.

_**I love you; I miss you**__**  
**__**All these miles away  
**__**May all your dreams be sweet tonight**__**  
**__**Safe upon your bed of moonlight**__**  
**__**And know not of sadness, pain, or care**__**  
**__**And when I dream, I'll fly away and meet you there**__**  
**__**Sleep... Sleep... Sleep...**_

Her lullaby done Eria looked at the ground tears falling from her eyes. Varric tapped Carver's shoulder and nodded his head towards Eria. Carver got that he needed to do something. But after hearing that song it felt awkward, like reading your sister's diary and then getting caught. Carver took a step towards his sister.

"Sister?" He said uncertainly. Eria spun around, staring at Carver as if she'd seen a ghost. "Sister, it's really me."

"Carver?" Eria looked as if she couldn't believe her eyes. Carver couldn't really blame her, if the song was any indication, he wasn't really supposed to be there. "I... I don't understand... How did you come back?"

Carver sighed. "Sister, I never really left. It's you that went away. Or, your mind did anyway." Eria looked even more confused. "Sister do you remember Kirkwall? Or Lothering?" Eria tried to think. Those names seemed familiar, but she couldn't quite place them. "Sister, please. I need you to think hard. Think of Kirkwall, do you remember? We escaped there during the Blight, and spent a year working for the Red Irons. After that we met Varric, we were..."

"Trying to get in on Bertrand's expedition..." Eria finish for him.

"That's right." Carver said. "After that we..."

"Met Sebastian for the first time." Eria said, memories were flowing back into her head. "Then... we met Merril... Then Anders... And Fenris... And Isabella..."

"That's right." Carver said gently. "Sister, we need to go back now. They're all waiting for you."

Carver was surprised as Eria hugged him. "Thank you. Thank you, for coming to get me."

Carver smiled. "Of course I came. You're my sister."

"Tut, tut, tut. Naughty little boy. It's not nice to take other people's things."

Everyone spun around to see a large demon of Pride. Now that was confusing, all that the three had seem was Eria cursing _past_ pride and foolishness that had pushed her brother away from her. Why would a pride demon have made such a world.

"I was having fun with this little mage. Making people weep and curse their own actions is so much more fun than simply tempting them right off the bat." The demon monologued.

"Didn't your mother ever teach you _not_ to play with your food." Varric said pulling out Bianca. "You might find that it'll bite back."

The fight began, Varric firing arrows from Bianca and Sebastian guarding Eria, with Aveline and Carver attacking in close. It looked like they were about to win when the demon blasted them all back. The four companions were stunned, unable to move as the demon lunged at them.

"Get away from my friends!" Eria shouted blasting ice cold wind at the demon.

The demon chuckled. "Well, well. Looks like the little mage needs to be reminded of her place. Go back to your castle, princess, I'm stronger than you and you know it.

"You're right, you are stronger." Eria began. She glared at the demon. "But this is _my_ house. And I'm kicking your arse out!"

She blasted a surge of Ice magic at the demon. The demon shrieked in pain before freezing and shattering into tiny shards of ice.

"Hawke..." Aveline said uncertainly.

"I didn't know you had that kind of power." Varric said.

"I don't." Eria smiled. "In this world the demon created, it made me the Princess of ice and snow. I just used its rules against it."

"Sister... You're a genius." Carver said grinning proudly. Eria beamed at her brother. "Now let's head home."

* * *

Two months later.

Hawke sighed as she walked through the door of her estate. Things were getting more out of control with the mages and Templars. Couldn't they learn to compromise a little, especially Meredith, the mages didn't want enmity or anything, they just didn't want to feel any more like caged birds than they already did. Even the Templars were beginning to doubt her, Hawke already knew that Meredith was off her rocker, but the only way that Meredith herself would see that would be if the Grand Cleric stepped in. There had to be a way to resolve this peacefully, but with things as they were, Hawke had a feeling they were all heading for disaster.

"Ah, Messere." Bodan Greeted. "A letter arrived for you, it's on the desk."

"Thanks Bodan." Hawke smiled.

She went over to the desk and saw that it was another letter from Carver. Ever since the dream incident, they had started writing letters to each other regularly. Hawke took the letter up to her room and sat on her bed. For the most part it was the usual stuff about training, darkspawn and the other wardens. Then he said about how he thought Meredith was a nut the first time he saw her and he thought the Grand Cleric should just fire her and get someone else. At this Hawke chuckled. When it came right down to it, maybe nearly getting eaten by a demon was the best thing that happened to her. After all, it did result in her getting her brother back.

* * *

The song used in this fic is 'Lullaby for a Princess' by PonyPhobic with some alterations to make it suitable for the situation.


End file.
